Honoring Lena by Sara Blackard

Author:Sara Blackard [Blackard, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sara Blackard

Lena shook out Marshall’s pants as she prepared to toss them in the wash. She’d have to contact Bjørn on the ham radio and make sure he brings up more water. If Marshall and Carter kept it up, they’d be out of water by the next day.

Her cheeks heated again with the thought of her words to Marshall. She hadn’t meant it in the way it had sounded. The entire way back to the cabin, her thoughts had raced between his laughter and how amazing he was with Carter. When she thought back over the last two months, she realized she’d been unfair to Marshall. Sure, he wasn’t around enough, but when he was, Carter had his undivided attention, even if it happened to be thirty minutes here and there. Earlier, Marshall had taken it to a new level with his fox impression.

Marshall and Carter’s voices filtered through the wall that divided the bathroom from the utility room, their laughter settling in her bones. She twisted the jeans in her hands. The desire for laughter and family in her life warred with the need for justice. What if Bjørn was right and her bitterness pushed all hope of having a family of her own away?

Something crinkled through the fabric as she clenched his jeans in her hands. She pulled out a folded piece of paper. Setting the pants on the washer, she carefully opened the moist paper. It was fragile, more so from the obvious wear of many openings than getting wet.

She licked her lips and read the words written in neat, flowing letters. A rock settled in her stomach at what could only be Marshall’s wife’s begging words to forgive her. Words of terror and worry. Words that claimed she had to push him to vote for a bill she knew to be wrong to keep Carter safe. Guilt layered thick in the ink and etched understanding and pain in Lena’s heart. Marshall’s wife had only done what every mother would have when their child was threatened, what Lena would probably do in the same situation.

“It’s my fault she died.” Marshall’s voice startled her, and she quickly set the note down so she didn’t tear it.

“You didn’t know.” The letter made that clear.

“No.” His voice strained as he stared at the paper. “But I knew something was wrong. I assumed it had to do with the business. I should’ve taken the time to ask, but I was so focused on my job at the Capitol that I selfishly figured she’d tell me if she wanted help.”

“That doesn’t mean her death is your fault.” Lena’s throat closed at the guilt he must carry, and she had added even more to him with her accusations and thinly veiled contempt.

“They targeted Amara to sway me.” His humorless laugh made it hard for Lena to breathe. “Their strategy worked. She not only died because of me, but your fiancé and other soldiers also did because of my choice.” He sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned against the doorframe.

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